


cul-de-sac

by redapplecake (angelnana)



Category: Produce 101 (TV), VICTON (Band), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, just some sad thing, ryeonseung, seungzz, younjin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 21:11:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21106073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelnana/pseuds/redapplecake
Summary: "I'm in love with you," Seungwoo says, "I'm in love with us."





	cul-de-sac

Seungwoo thinks he finds courage in a crowd. A thousand of nameless face somehow gives him a boost of confidence, and a silent scream to take his chance. Now or never, they say, not out loud, only inside his head. Now or never, as he looks at Seungyoun next to him, holding his phone to capture some moments.

“Seungyoun,” before the confidence leaves his mind, Seungwoo calls him—_Seungyoun_, the name he keeps close to his prayers everyday. The name he holds onto when everything feels hard. The name he loved and loves; he’s ready now. All brave, confident, bold.

Seungyoun hums in response, a sign for him to continue what’s left on his tongue. “I’m in love with you.” Seungwoo could hear Seungyoun’s breath hitches in his throat, his fingers shaky. But Seungyoun is Seungyoun, he wears his emotions on his sleeve yet he lies for feeling nothing. Seungwoo knows better, the smile on Seungyoun’s face is just a way to hold himself together before he breaks into pieces. Seungyoun is strong, yet so fragile.

“I’m in love with you,” Seungwoo repeats, mostly to himself. To remind him how in love he is with Seungyoun. “I’m in love with us.” The stolen kisses behind the door. His hair between Seungyoun’s fingers. Lips on the tattoo on his chest. Sunlight casting a shadow of Seungyoun’s lashes in the morning after a long night. Seungyoun’s smile when he comes home. A promise of matching tattoos. Seungyoun in his arms. Seungyoun and his own heart to offer. Seungyoun and _his_ heart inside his small fists. “I’m in love with what we could have become.”

Seungyoun and a commitment Seungwoo always fails to give.

Seungyoun turns to him, smile wide and crescents on his eyes. “I know,” he pats Seungwoo’s thigh softly, standing up and glancing at the back of his shoulder for a moment. “I always know,” Seungyoun smiles a smile Seungwoo would never forget, and a hand comes sneaking into Seungyoun’s palm. “I have to go, _Hyung_. Thank you for coming with me.” He bids him goodbye, walking hand in hand with a much smaller guy, chuckling at whatever Sejin said.

Seungwoo thinks he finds courage in a crowd—but not even a bit of desire could urge him to take Seungyoun’s hand back into his own. Maybe it’s never the crowd, it’s a fucking dead end all along.

(Now or never, they say. But for Seungwoo who lets his cowardice keep himself back to just hold Seungyoun’s hand for one second longer, it’s an absolute never _and_ never.)

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry


End file.
